All good things...

We pack up today to leave sunny California.  It has been five days of pure pleasure shared with friends and family.  We are so grateful for this break from treatment and are again ready to meet the enemy head on.
The prophet Jeremiah, in Chapter 2:2, tells the people what God has told him to say; "Go and proclaim in the ears of Jerusalem, saying, 'Thus says the Lord, I remember concerning you, the love of your betrothals, your following Me in the wilderness through a land not sown'."  Since I'm getting pretty good at finding comfort in Scripture even when I take it out of context, I am choosing to read into those words God's promise to me that He has not forgotten me as I walk through my own personal wilderness, my "land not sown".  If I choose to let go of His hand to chart my own path, I cheat myself out of His blessings. When I walk close to Him, He guides me at every fork in the road.
So, bring on the radiation and the new chemotherapy!  I am ready....we are ready!  The sooner it starts, the sooner it will end.
All good things...and, thankfully, all the not so good things....must come to an end.
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ"-Romans 8:35

"Have mercy on my foolishness..."

Today I awoke to a beautiful letter from someone who is very precious to me. She reminded me again, with her perfect words, how dear is life and all it holds here on earth.  I realized once more that I am not ready to give up this life I have loved and hope to love for a while more.
In the early '90s I came upon a CD titled City of Gold, produced in the UK.  It's a collection of music, poetry and prose. Track 14 is simply titled Heaven.  On this track Adrian Plass reflects, in his perfect English accent, on what he loves on earth and hopes to find in heaven.  "Tell me there will be kites to fly, the kites they say you can control, although I never did for long."  "Tell me there will be friends to  meet....and summer evenings lapping lazily against familiar shores of sweet familiar lands, inhabited by silence or nonsenses.."
He speaks of his love for season changes..."Autumn's burning sadness that has always made me cry for things that have to end."  But the words with which he closes his reflections are what always impact me the most; "Have mercy on my foolishness, Dear Lord.  I love this world You made.  It's all I know."
I echo those words this morning.

It's beautiful here

We have spent time with great friends and I'm not wiped out, no virus has reared its ugly head so far, I was not arrested in the airport because of my mask, my positive attitude must be giving testimony to God's goodness because heaven knows I couldn't have conjured it up on my own and I have been able to talk about the next phase of treatment without getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, so it appears that prayers are being answered.  Thank you!
Today's early morning time with God led me to a great verse found in Habakkuk in the Old Testament.  It reminded me of a little book I read many years ago titled Hinds' Feet on High Places by English author Hannah Hurnard. (A hind is a female deer, in case you were wondering.)
In her book Mrs. Hurnard chronicles the journey of her main character, Much-Afraid.  Much-Afraid is called by the Shepherd to do some pretty frightening things, among them to undertake a journey over ground where her footing would be seriously challenged.  As she stumbles along the beginning of the path she cries out, "O Shepherd.  You said you would make my feet like hinds' feet and set me upon High Places."
"Well", he answered, "the only way to develop hinds' feet is to go by the paths which the hinds use."
So, I remind myself again, this cancer journey must be the high places to which The Shepherd is calling me and I, like little Much-Afraid, can be confident that my feet will not slip while The Shepherd leads the way.
"The Lord is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet, and makes me walk on my high places."
Habakkuk 3:19 (NAS)

Running away from home

Today we will run away from home....for five days, anyway.  All appears well on the health front in the eyes of Drs. Charles and Barbara Feenstra so we will fly the friendly skies westward this morning.
Please pray:
1. That I will be a good enough steward of self that I will not get carried away in the social department (we have wonderful friends there with whom we will be spending quality time).
2. That there will be no viruses around me awaiting a new home in my body.
3. That I will not be mistaken for a terrorist as I walk through the airport and onto the plane wearing a mask.
4. That I will have many opportunities to share the innumerable ways that God has shown Himself to us through this journey.
5. That I will not dwell on the next phase of treatment that awaits me when we return home.
Jesus Calling reminds me this morning that this is the day that God has given me.  I am to rejoice in it, refusing to worry about tomorrow. That's a tall order but entirely possible with His help.
Your prayers are precious to me.
"This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it."-Psalm 118:24 (NKJV)

Contentment

I'm crabby today.  I didn't sleep particularly well and I had to get my own coffee this morning.  My slave (Chuck) was occupied with other things, it seems.  I would rather spend the day wrapped in my blanket watching reruns of Seasons 1 and 2 of Downton Abbey but it's the day for my blood draw and other duties call as well.  I am living in my own selfish moment and feeling sorry for myself.  After all, I have cancer.  Shouldn't I be cut a little slack here? 
I wonder how long I will get away with this mindset before I'm confronted with evidence for a much needed attitude change that needs to occur.  And, as expected, here it comes:
"Grant us always to know that to walk with Jesus makes other interests a shadow and a dream."-Valley of Vision
"Yet it is in the storms of life that God equips us for service."-Streams in the Desert
"The majority of us cannot hear anything but ourselves.  And we cannot hear anything God says.  But to be brought to the place where we can hear the call of God is to be profoundly changed."-My Utmost for His Highest
"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content."-Philippians 4:11 (NKJV)
Oh, and before signing off, let me recap yesterday:
My friend's surgery was a success, and just before going into the OR she texted, "I am experiencing 'the peace that passes understanding'."
I received a card from a young woman who has been dear to my heart since she was a child that touched me beyond words.
We spent several hours with great friends, experiencing the best of food and fellowship.
And I re-read an email from a friend who is facing some monumental decisions, yet she writes, "My heart is quiet and full of thanks."
Shame on me!

Peace

My friend faces surgery today and as I searched for verses and thoughts on the subject of peace with which to encourage her I realized that I was being addressed as well.
At no point in this cancer journey has there been an absence of peace.  It may appear in the form of a Bible verse, a short meditation, an expression of love from a family member, an encouraging call from a friend.  I am greeted nearly every morning with a text message from my forever friend, Pat, who shares a thought (or five or six) from her beautiful mind.  How could I not experience peace?
"You must be clear about one thing above all else:  You are most assuredly the one The Lord loves!  I love you so much that I carry you through your toughest times.  Beloved, you can even rest between My shoulders like a lamb being tenderly carried by its shepherd." (From Sarah Young's Jesus Lives)  What a picture!
Joshua 1:9 reminds me, "Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for The Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  (NKJV)
Have a blissfully peaceful day.

Doonesbury

In this morning's Doonesbury comic strip, aspiring writer, Jeff, asks his professional writer dad, "Dad, what do you do when you have nothing to say?"  Dad responds, "I say it anyway......".  Humor aside, I don't ever want to do that.  Each of these blog entries depends on inspiration from God and He faithfully writes the words.  I am honest enough to know that if I were to take the reins there could be trouble!
Today it's not so much that I am not inspired but rather that the health report is unchanged, thankfully.  I am isolating myself at home in order to keep well enough for a last shot at traveling before the "big guns" come out at the end of January.  Please pray for no surprises where our cancer is concerned and please pray also for many opportunities to tell of God's goodness through trials.
Before signing off I would like to share from the consistent encouragement received from our friend, Jon, in Washington state.  The verse he sent yesterday was 2 Kings 20:5, "...I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears.  Behold, I will heal you."  Thank you, Jon, for that reminder of the wonderful promises to be found in God's Word.  I wish I could quote Jon's entire email here but suffice it to say, Jon could be writing his own blog.  His words never fail to hit home.

Kindness

Yesterday was not the best day on the health front for me.  I suspect that the beginnings of my cold can be blamed on a suppressed immune system, but the reason for it is immaterial.  My major disappointment yesterday morning was the thought that I might have to cancel two activities for the day to which I was really looking forward.  My granddaughter was taking me to lunch, then later in the afternoon we had friends coming bearing edible gifts and offering excellent company.
Not being one to wallow in self-pity I popped a Tylenol and soldiered on, the result being a day of supreme enjoyment.  Sitting across the table from a precious granddaughter eating a Joe's Farm Grill hotdog, then later in the day spending a few hours over delicious pasta soup and excellent conversation.....priceless!  And the reason for "priceless"?  It's kindness.  From the onset of our journey I (we) have been the recipient(s) of innumerable kindnesses, expressed in so many ways that  I couldn't possibly list the many examples here.  There would not be room on the page.
My prayer is that we, my family and I, will have the opportunity to express our thanks in words and actions to you all when I am well.  And my equally important prayer is that I may have the privilege of modeling to others the kindness that has been modeled so graciously for me.
Many, many thanks.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness."-Galatians 5:22 (ESV)
"Thus says the Lord of hosts, 'Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another'."-Zechariah 7:9 (ESV)

Insomniacs rule!

Judging from the responses of several friends to my blog on insomnia, I didn't invent this idea of using awake time at night for praying for others.  My friend, Beth, suggested that perhaps we ought to form an Insomniacs Anonymous support group with a meeting time of 2 a.m.  My friend, Mary, a potential member of the above mentioned club, says, tongue in cheek, that when she prays for me (in the middle of the night, of course), she is conflicted as to whether to pray for or against my insomnia.
I am writing this entry at 3:01 a.m.  Out of consideration for my soundly sleeping husband I won't transfer it to my computer until a more reasonable hour, but please know that if you woke up this morning especially refreshed and feeling loved, you were prayed for during the night :)
"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."-Colossians 4:2 (NKJV)

Today's mission accomplished

We had an encouraging visit with our oncologist, Dr. Polowy, and his Physicians' Assistant, Jenna, this morning.  My blood results were very positive, all things considered, and there seems to be no reason to be overly concerned with anything at this juncture.  The best news of all.....it appears that there might be the possibility of a short vacation before radiation and oral chemotherapy start.
Thank you again, Tami, for your willingness to put pen to paper to wrap up our appointments in your concise words.  Thank you again, Jody, for faithfully sitting next to me in the chemo room, attending not only to my needs but to the needs of surrounding patients as well.  Thank you, Lee Ann, for the perfect Bible verse to serve me well on this day.
There is such beauty in this chemotherapy room, such a sense of camaraderie between nurses, patients and accompanying family members and/or friends.  I have not often experienced the spirit of mutual care and concern that is found here.  What a gift we can be to one another when we take the focus off ourselves.