Richard Wayne "Rich" Mullins. I so appreciated who he was, both as a musician and as a man. I cried on that day back in September of 1997 when, just shy of his 42nd birthday, he died.
It was sad to think that there would be no more of the gifts he so freely gave to us through his words and his music.
Rich was passionate about his God and fully sold out to his Savior, Jesus Christ. After he died I did some research on his writings and in the process came upon a small volume of short pieces he had once written for a college newspaper, collected and published after his death by several of his longtime friends. The volume is titled: The World As I Remember It: Through The Eyes of a Ragamuffin. And through the eyes and the words of that Ragamuffin I have been able to gain inspiration along the path of my journey.
The chapter I am reading today, Playing Second Fiddle, focuses on....you guessed it...the fiddle. Rich writes:
"It is always important that a fiddle should remember (and, who would guess that it could forget?) that it is a fiddle-that it is wood and wire and polish and glue-and not much more than that-except, of course, in the caress of a fiddler. There, in that hand, on that shoulder under that chin-all of its lightness delicately balanced and its strings skillfully bowed, it becomes a voice. There, out of that hollow body and thin skin of this peculiarly shaped little box, the fiddler forges his music. There, in a sense, the word becomes flesh, the fiddler's idea becomes concrete, shimmering concrete reality. And this, of course, is what a fiddle dreams of at night, in the dark of its closet, in the stifling closeness of its case."
Further on in the chapter Rich writes:
"Now although a fiddle may never be fooled by the folly of human thinking, very much like us they have pain. Their necks are stiff and their nerves, their strings, are stretched. They feel the friction of the bow.....Their emptiness is for them (as it is for us) a nearly unbearable ache- an ache that is fitted to the shape that makes its tone. And sometimes a fiddle is tempted to fill that void with rags, or glass, or gold, even knowing that, if it should do that, it would never again resonate the intentions of its fiddler. It would never again be alive with his music. It would dull itself to the exquisite heat of the fiddler's will, the deliberate tenderness of his fingers....."
I want to be like that fiddle. I want to be stretched. I want to always believe that without my
Fiddler's hand, I can never make truly beautiful music. I will simply be a hollow instrument, unable to become a voice. If I stuff myself with the things of the world, I deny myself the privilege of echoing the beautiful song that is the Fiddler's intention for me.
I can visualize the angels enjoying Rich's music as he praises his God in heaven.
On the health front:
I am losing steam, which is not surprising given that my white blood cells are underperforming.
There was a disconcerting fever this morning and we await a call back from the oncologist's office to see if we're in trouble. I am adjusting to, but not enjoying fatigue and general weakness.
I am now one-third of the way through my last phase of treatment, and that's a good thing😊
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
A Warning
"And the ugly, thin cows ate up the seven attractive, plump cows. And Pharaoh awoke....
And the thin ears swallowed up the plump, full ears. And Pharaoh awoke, and behold, it was a dream."-Genesis 41:4, 7 (ESV).
If this weird dream had been mine I surely would have needed an interpreter, as did Pharaoh back in Genesis! And there was Joseph, poor guy, who was left to interpret the ominous warning contained in that dream.
In Genesis the warning was that Pharaoh's years of abundance would be followed by an unimaginable period of famine, swallowing up all the former abundance big time. Could this interpretation have any application in my life today? Of course it could😊
My former life, a life of much abundance, is being followed by a period of famine of sorts. It could be very easy to let that abundance of my life B.C. (before cancer) be swallowed up by my current season of famine, or lack of the vitality I formerly enjoyed. How sad it would be if that happened and how unnecessary.
As the author of the past, S. D. Gordon, wisely pointed out, the only way to avoid that black hole is "fresh touch with God" on an ongoing basis. How true.
I am thinking again about the choices I have at my disposal and I am choosing to not permit the famine of today have victory over the abundance of yesterday. Will I see that former abundance again in my lifetime? Only God knows. But with His firm, constant grip on me, I will turn this famine into abundance today, and every day, whatever 'today' may bring. After all, the interpretation of 'abundance' is purely personal.
Thanks, Streams in the Desert. This message is just what I needed.
"Thou Great Three-One,
Author of all blessings I enjoy,
Of all I hope for......
Thou hast shown me
That the sensible effusions of divine love
In the soul are superior to and distinct from
Bodily health,
And that oft-times spiritual comforts are
At their highest when physical well-being
Is at its lowest.....
I bless Thee for tempering every distress with joy;
Too much of the former might weigh me down,
Too much of the latter might puff me up;
Thou art wise to give me a taste of both."-The Valley of Vision (A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.)
Now THAT'S beautiful!
On the health front:
I'm not out of bed yet so I can honestly say that everything's good 😊
And the thin ears swallowed up the plump, full ears. And Pharaoh awoke, and behold, it was a dream."-Genesis 41:4, 7 (ESV).
If this weird dream had been mine I surely would have needed an interpreter, as did Pharaoh back in Genesis! And there was Joseph, poor guy, who was left to interpret the ominous warning contained in that dream.
In Genesis the warning was that Pharaoh's years of abundance would be followed by an unimaginable period of famine, swallowing up all the former abundance big time. Could this interpretation have any application in my life today? Of course it could😊
My former life, a life of much abundance, is being followed by a period of famine of sorts. It could be very easy to let that abundance of my life B.C. (before cancer) be swallowed up by my current season of famine, or lack of the vitality I formerly enjoyed. How sad it would be if that happened and how unnecessary.
As the author of the past, S. D. Gordon, wisely pointed out, the only way to avoid that black hole is "fresh touch with God" on an ongoing basis. How true.
I am thinking again about the choices I have at my disposal and I am choosing to not permit the famine of today have victory over the abundance of yesterday. Will I see that former abundance again in my lifetime? Only God knows. But with His firm, constant grip on me, I will turn this famine into abundance today, and every day, whatever 'today' may bring. After all, the interpretation of 'abundance' is purely personal.
Thanks, Streams in the Desert. This message is just what I needed.
"Thou Great Three-One,
Author of all blessings I enjoy,
Of all I hope for......
Thou hast shown me
That the sensible effusions of divine love
In the soul are superior to and distinct from
Bodily health,
And that oft-times spiritual comforts are
At their highest when physical well-being
Is at its lowest.....
I bless Thee for tempering every distress with joy;
Too much of the former might weigh me down,
Too much of the latter might puff me up;
Thou art wise to give me a taste of both."-The Valley of Vision (A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.)
Now THAT'S beautiful!
On the health front:
I'm not out of bed yet so I can honestly say that everything's good 😊
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Could it be?
I'm invited by one of my resources to go into the book of Judges this morning. Truthfully, I was never much good at History in school so I'm not naturally drawn to the history books of the Old Testament, but today there's something here for me.
Israel was misbehaving again. God's chosen people had wandered off the path that had been set for them and it was time once again ask Him for help. (Hmmm....sounds a bit like myself when I try to take over the reins.)
God, being God, heard those cries for help and chose a little known character named Othneil to do the huge job of getting his fellow Israelites out of their self-inflicted unpleasant situation and back on track.
I don't read a lot about Othneil in other places of the Bible, which is actually encouraging to me, because it tells me that God can choose a normal, everyday person and equip him (or her) for some pretty amazing things.
Again, this may be a stretch, but I hope that by God's placing the charge on me of taking this journey through cancer, He may be preparing me to accomplish something important in the long run, and I'm kind of excited about that! And even if I'm 'way off in my thinking, I still have the confidence, as Othneil must have had, that God is not, and will never be far away. He called me to this task and He will see me through it.
So, the adventure continues. I wonder what it will bring next.....
"And when they cried to the Lord, He raised up for them a deliverer, Othneil....Caleb's younger brother, who saved them. The Spirit of The Lord came upon him."-Judges 3:9, 10.
On the health front:
Tired with a slight stomach ache this morning. Note to self: Don't have popcorn for lunch and brown rice for dinner on the same day.
Israel was misbehaving again. God's chosen people had wandered off the path that had been set for them and it was time once again ask Him for help. (Hmmm....sounds a bit like myself when I try to take over the reins.)
God, being God, heard those cries for help and chose a little known character named Othneil to do the huge job of getting his fellow Israelites out of their self-inflicted unpleasant situation and back on track.
I don't read a lot about Othneil in other places of the Bible, which is actually encouraging to me, because it tells me that God can choose a normal, everyday person and equip him (or her) for some pretty amazing things.
Again, this may be a stretch, but I hope that by God's placing the charge on me of taking this journey through cancer, He may be preparing me to accomplish something important in the long run, and I'm kind of excited about that! And even if I'm 'way off in my thinking, I still have the confidence, as Othneil must have had, that God is not, and will never be far away. He called me to this task and He will see me through it.
So, the adventure continues. I wonder what it will bring next.....
"And when they cried to the Lord, He raised up for them a deliverer, Othneil....Caleb's younger brother, who saved them. The Spirit of The Lord came upon him."-Judges 3:9, 10.
On the health front:
Tired with a slight stomach ache this morning. Note to self: Don't have popcorn for lunch and brown rice for dinner on the same day.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Gratitude
I woke up this morning with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. It started last night as the move from our temporary quarters back into our home came within reach of completion, resulting in our sleeping in our familiar bed for the first time in over a month. Right on the heels of that reason to be grateful came gratitude for the newly minted renovation of our 34 year old master bath......pure luxury, even if there are still a few kinks to work out.
I move on from these completely worldly reasons for which to be grateful to far more reasons than could possibly be contained on a single page.
My immediate thoughts go to my family. First, my precious Carson who, with the occasional well deserved meltdown, blows me away with his faithful care. My "kids" and their families, ever present emotionally whether physically here or not, never fail. The love shown by them all just can't be expressed adequately. Then to friends, some nearby and some many miles away, who provide both physical and emotional support on an ongoing basis.....what a beautiful reason for gratitude. Thank you all.
I am ever grateful for my medical team who go above and beyond to make me feel like a real person with real challenges, not merely a number or a medical code. I truly believe that the professionals who choose oncology for their life's work are cut from very special cloth.
And above all I am grateful for having been given the privilege of serving a God Who is serving me so well. As strange as it may sound, I am grateful that His plan for me included this journey through cancer. I believe it has taken me to a new level in my life, one that could not have been reached otherwise.
So, what more can I say. I am blessed beyond blessed and today, and always, regardless of what my days bring, I will continue to be grateful.
"Every good action and every perfect gift is from God. These good gifts come down from the Creator of the sun, moon and stars, Who does not change like their shifting shadows."-James 1:17 (NCV).
On the health front:
Yesterday's chemo was blessedly uneventful, even after the two doses of Neupogen. And today promises to be a good one. Even if I am being held captive in my own little world by my underachieving white blood cells, my reward is that I am staying well.
I move on from these completely worldly reasons for which to be grateful to far more reasons than could possibly be contained on a single page.
My immediate thoughts go to my family. First, my precious Carson who, with the occasional well deserved meltdown, blows me away with his faithful care. My "kids" and their families, ever present emotionally whether physically here or not, never fail. The love shown by them all just can't be expressed adequately. Then to friends, some nearby and some many miles away, who provide both physical and emotional support on an ongoing basis.....what a beautiful reason for gratitude. Thank you all.
I am ever grateful for my medical team who go above and beyond to make me feel like a real person with real challenges, not merely a number or a medical code. I truly believe that the professionals who choose oncology for their life's work are cut from very special cloth.
And above all I am grateful for having been given the privilege of serving a God Who is serving me so well. As strange as it may sound, I am grateful that His plan for me included this journey through cancer. I believe it has taken me to a new level in my life, one that could not have been reached otherwise.
So, what more can I say. I am blessed beyond blessed and today, and always, regardless of what my days bring, I will continue to be grateful.
"Every good action and every perfect gift is from God. These good gifts come down from the Creator of the sun, moon and stars, Who does not change like their shifting shadows."-James 1:17 (NCV).
On the health front:
Yesterday's chemo was blessedly uneventful, even after the two doses of Neupogen. And today promises to be a good one. Even if I am being held captive in my own little world by my underachieving white blood cells, my reward is that I am staying well.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Seasons...again
I'm back to thinking about the seasons of our lives, thanks to Joe Stowell writing for Our Daily Bread. There are times when my morning reading presents a great mental challenge with much to chew on and much to strive to understand more fully. Then there are mornings like this one when I read a few gentle paragraphs that only ask me to revisit a simple truth that has already been observed.
Mr. Stowell likens our lives to the weather; ever changing, somewhat predictable at times but fully out of our hands. We are pushed, either gently or forcefully, from one season into the next whether we like it or not. We have nothing to say about the matter.
When I think about that, I realize that this helplessness could be a scary thing, but fear usually works against us rather than for us (with a few exceptions, of course ).
I've said this before but it bears repeating: Throughout this season of my life I have yet to experience fear. Apprehension? Sure. Discomfort? Of course. Lack of control? Absolutely, but never fear. My God has promised to remove the element of fear from my progression through the seasons that have been established for me. His plan for me is far better than any I could have created for myself.
So....my present season does not contain exclusively sunshine, flowers and balmy breezes, but, as Mr. Stowell reminds me, seasons are ever changing and I am being gently carried along into the next one. Whatever that season may bring, I plan to buckle up and to fully appreciate the ride.
"......because God has said, 'Never will I leave you or forsake you'. So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my Helper; I will no be afraid. What can man do to me?'"-Hebrews 13:5b,6 (NIV).
On the health front:
Neupogen injection again yesterday, chemo today. I felt a few of the side effects of the injection this time around but nothing that was unmanageable.
If my energy level allows, we will move back into our bedroom today. Love it!
Mr. Stowell likens our lives to the weather; ever changing, somewhat predictable at times but fully out of our hands. We are pushed, either gently or forcefully, from one season into the next whether we like it or not. We have nothing to say about the matter.
When I think about that, I realize that this helplessness could be a scary thing, but fear usually works against us rather than for us (with a few exceptions, of course ).
I've said this before but it bears repeating: Throughout this season of my life I have yet to experience fear. Apprehension? Sure. Discomfort? Of course. Lack of control? Absolutely, but never fear. My God has promised to remove the element of fear from my progression through the seasons that have been established for me. His plan for me is far better than any I could have created for myself.
So....my present season does not contain exclusively sunshine, flowers and balmy breezes, but, as Mr. Stowell reminds me, seasons are ever changing and I am being gently carried along into the next one. Whatever that season may bring, I plan to buckle up and to fully appreciate the ride.
"......because God has said, 'Never will I leave you or forsake you'. So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my Helper; I will no be afraid. What can man do to me?'"-Hebrews 13:5b,6 (NIV).
On the health front:
Neupogen injection again yesterday, chemo today. I felt a few of the side effects of the injection this time around but nothing that was unmanageable.
If my energy level allows, we will move back into our bedroom today. Love it!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Keeping balance in the dance
My faithful devotional, Jesus Calling, gave me just the fix I needed this morning, as it so often does. I was encouraged to think of the ballerina who must find a fixed focal point as she spins in order to keep her balance as she dances. I, too, need a fixed focal point as my "dance" continues.
I'm here to tell you that there have been many opportunities for my dance to spin out of control, and I fully expect that my balance will be challenged again as it continues. I would be dishonest if I have ever created the impression that I have not hit the floor on occasion, but thanks to my Focal Point, it doesn't happen often.
No need to expound on this simple analogy this morning. I'm going to limit my focus to this mental picture alone as I look forward to a beautiful dance today.
"In the beginning You laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of Your hands. They will perish, but You remain; they will all wear out as a garment ....but You remain the same, and Your years will never end."-Psalm 102:25-27 (NIV).
On the health front:
It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do for the body! This morning I'm refreshed and energized (which could be partially attributed to a healthy dose of caffeine).
Another injection this morning, then chemo tomorrow morning. I'm blessedly free of the side effects that often accompany Neupogen so things could be a lot worse.
Best of all, today begins the move back into our bedroom after a very long four and a half weeks of the chaos of the bathroom remodel. Woo Hoo!
I'm here to tell you that there have been many opportunities for my dance to spin out of control, and I fully expect that my balance will be challenged again as it continues. I would be dishonest if I have ever created the impression that I have not hit the floor on occasion, but thanks to my Focal Point, it doesn't happen often.
No need to expound on this simple analogy this morning. I'm going to limit my focus to this mental picture alone as I look forward to a beautiful dance today.
"In the beginning You laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of Your hands. They will perish, but You remain; they will all wear out as a garment ....but You remain the same, and Your years will never end."-Psalm 102:25-27 (NIV).
On the health front:
It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do for the body! This morning I'm refreshed and energized (which could be partially attributed to a healthy dose of caffeine).
Another injection this morning, then chemo tomorrow morning. I'm blessedly free of the side effects that often accompany Neupogen so things could be a lot worse.
Best of all, today begins the move back into our bedroom after a very long four and a half weeks of the chaos of the bathroom remodel. Woo Hoo!
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
To See or Not to See
Mysterious thing, this business of faith. Left on my own to describe what it is, I couldn't do better than the New Testament book of Hebrews where I read: "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."-Hebrews 11:1 (NIV). That's pretty hard to get our heads around, given that we live in a world of "Seeing is Believing". It's a whole new paradigm when we're asked to step off into what we can't see, but faith is just that.
Looking back on my own journey into faith, the scariest thing for me to contemplate was handing the reins of my life over to something or Someone I couldn't see or touch. But it was exactly that exchange that keeps me going today.
At times such as now, when the body fails and the spirit sags, I am so grateful that I am no longer depending upon what I can see, because what I see right now isn't all that great. But my faith, that mysterious thing that I can't see, keeps me going, knowing and trusting that although visible evidence might indicate otherwise, there is an invisible Power at work, forging and implementing just the right plan for me.
I wouldn't want to be taking this journey without faith.
BFF Pat opened my eyes to this beautiful prayer this morning, found in The Valley of Vision. In part it reads:
"Give me large abundance of the supply of the Spirit of Jesus,
That I might be prepared for every duty,
Love Thee in all Thy mercies,
Submit to Thee in every trial,
Trust Thee when walking in darkness,
Have peace in Thee amidst life's changes.
Lord, I believe, help Thou my unbelief and uncertainties."
On the health front:
It was not good news from the lab yesterday. My white blood cell count was lower than last week so I will require two Neupogen injections before my chemotherapy on Friday.
I'm tired. Really tired.
Looking back on my own journey into faith, the scariest thing for me to contemplate was handing the reins of my life over to something or Someone I couldn't see or touch. But it was exactly that exchange that keeps me going today.
At times such as now, when the body fails and the spirit sags, I am so grateful that I am no longer depending upon what I can see, because what I see right now isn't all that great. But my faith, that mysterious thing that I can't see, keeps me going, knowing and trusting that although visible evidence might indicate otherwise, there is an invisible Power at work, forging and implementing just the right plan for me.
I wouldn't want to be taking this journey without faith.
BFF Pat opened my eyes to this beautiful prayer this morning, found in The Valley of Vision. In part it reads:
"Give me large abundance of the supply of the Spirit of Jesus,
That I might be prepared for every duty,
Love Thee in all Thy mercies,
Submit to Thee in every trial,
Trust Thee when walking in darkness,
Have peace in Thee amidst life's changes.
Lord, I believe, help Thou my unbelief and uncertainties."
On the health front:
It was not good news from the lab yesterday. My white blood cell count was lower than last week so I will require two Neupogen injections before my chemotherapy on Friday.
I'm tired. Really tired.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
"Yes" or "No"
"I never lead you to do something without equipping you for the task."-Sarah Young (Jesus Calling).
In the past, when I was in my prime both physically and mentally, I was one of those folks who said "Yes" to nearly everything I was asked to do if it had merit in my estimation. It was easy back then. The task of meeting the needs of family became pretty routine, my health was good, my energy level high and there was usually energy left over for participation in life outside the home as well.
With age and its accompanying changes it became easier to say "No" on occasion. Out of necessity I became a better steward of self.
Now, as I face the challenge of accepting the job of having cancer, I realize that I still have the option of saying "Yes" or "No", and I am choosing "Yes".
With the promise of the above quote I can go forward knowing that I have already been equipped for the task. I have a stellar team, both personal and professional, to help me here on earth and with God as my Great Physician, I can be assured of doing the job well.
Yet while answering "Yes" to my present challenge, I am aware that there will be the occasional "No" along the way. I will say "No" to discouragement, and to discomfort , and to ignorance and defeat, even though it's no easy task when the body is depleted.
Today I feel depleted, but it will not always be today. I am slowly learning the rhythms of this dance and I know that the tempo of the dance changes regularly with the music.
Tomorrow there will be a new melody.
"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life."-Psalm 138:7.
"O what blessedness accompanies devotion,
When under all the trials that weary me,
The fears that disturb me,
The infirmities that oppress me,
I can come to Thee in my need
And feel peace beyond understanding!"-The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.
On the health front:
Blood draw early this morning to determine whether or not I'll need more Neupogen before my next chemo infusion.
I'm ready for a nap.
In the past, when I was in my prime both physically and mentally, I was one of those folks who said "Yes" to nearly everything I was asked to do if it had merit in my estimation. It was easy back then. The task of meeting the needs of family became pretty routine, my health was good, my energy level high and there was usually energy left over for participation in life outside the home as well.
With age and its accompanying changes it became easier to say "No" on occasion. Out of necessity I became a better steward of self.
Now, as I face the challenge of accepting the job of having cancer, I realize that I still have the option of saying "Yes" or "No", and I am choosing "Yes".
With the promise of the above quote I can go forward knowing that I have already been equipped for the task. I have a stellar team, both personal and professional, to help me here on earth and with God as my Great Physician, I can be assured of doing the job well.
Yet while answering "Yes" to my present challenge, I am aware that there will be the occasional "No" along the way. I will say "No" to discouragement, and to discomfort , and to ignorance and defeat, even though it's no easy task when the body is depleted.
Today I feel depleted, but it will not always be today. I am slowly learning the rhythms of this dance and I know that the tempo of the dance changes regularly with the music.
Tomorrow there will be a new melody.
"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life."-Psalm 138:7.
"O what blessedness accompanies devotion,
When under all the trials that weary me,
The fears that disturb me,
The infirmities that oppress me,
I can come to Thee in my need
And feel peace beyond understanding!"-The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.
On the health front:
Blood draw early this morning to determine whether or not I'll need more Neupogen before my next chemo infusion.
I'm ready for a nap.
Monday, April 22, 2013
God's Presence
Recently we were thinking back to the beginning of our journey through cancer, back to the early post-surgery phase when my challenges were at their peak. There was pretty significant pain at that time, accompanied by discouraging news regarding my situation, so attempting to focus on God's plan for me didn't always result in clarity of thought or perception. But as I think back I am struck again, for the millionth time, by the reality that the intensity with which I feel His presence has nothing to do with His actual presence. God is fully with me 100% of every moment that I exist. It is I who moves closer to or farther away from Him.
I would be dishonest if I said that discouragement never sets in, but it's at those times that I most clearly see the need to have a serious discussion with God regarding what I know to be true about Him.
"Believer! What a glorious assurance! This way of thine-this, it may be, a crooked, mysterious, tangled way- this way of trial and tears. 'He knoweth it.' The furnace seven times heated- He lighted it......
The furnace is hot; but not only can we trust the hand that kindles it, but we have the assurance that the fires are lighted not to consume, but to refine; and that when the refining process is completed (no sooner-no later) He brings His people forth as gold."-Macduff ( Streams in the Desert).
What encouraging words from Macduff, whoever he was. He gave me just what I needed for today.
"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me I shall come out as gold."-Job 23:10 (ESV).
On the health front:
Captivity at home is resulting in many cupboards getting cleaned and closets reorganized, and that's not a bad thing!
Tomorrow's lab work results will determine what the week will bring, but as of this moment I have no complaints😊
I would be dishonest if I said that discouragement never sets in, but it's at those times that I most clearly see the need to have a serious discussion with God regarding what I know to be true about Him.
"Believer! What a glorious assurance! This way of thine-this, it may be, a crooked, mysterious, tangled way- this way of trial and tears. 'He knoweth it.' The furnace seven times heated- He lighted it......
The furnace is hot; but not only can we trust the hand that kindles it, but we have the assurance that the fires are lighted not to consume, but to refine; and that when the refining process is completed (no sooner-no later) He brings His people forth as gold."-Macduff ( Streams in the Desert).
What encouraging words from Macduff, whoever he was. He gave me just what I needed for today.
"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me I shall come out as gold."-Job 23:10 (ESV).
On the health front:
Captivity at home is resulting in many cupboards getting cleaned and closets reorganized, and that's not a bad thing!
Tomorrow's lab work results will determine what the week will bring, but as of this moment I have no complaints😊
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Growing old
I'm not sure why I'm attracted to verses about growing old this morning, but it is what it is.
I don't remember ever fearing growing old and for that I am grateful. I have had a great life and I view each day as a gift. Life is a privilege that I hope to enjoy for a long time and I don't want to miss out on a minute of it. If I could change one thing about life, however, it would be that we could be given the gifts of the wisdom and experience of old age at the same time we enjoyed a young and energetic body, but that wasn't God's plan so I suspect He knows something that I don't on that subject.
Enough rambling. I'm ready to focus on a few of God's promises regarding old age:
"Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I made you and I will take care of you. I will carry you and save you."-Isaiah 46:4 (NCV).
And I am here to tell you, gray hairs and all, that the above verse is absolutely true!
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man [older], I put childish ways behind me."-1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV).
I had a great childhood but there's no doubt in my mind that I'd rather be right where I am than back in my younger years. Life just gets better and better!
"God, You have taught me since I was young. To this day I tell about the miracles You do. Even though I am old and gray, do not leave me, God. I will tell the children about Your power; I will tell those who live after me about Your might."-Psalm 71:17,18 (NCV).
And I can read the above verses in Psalm 71, confident that He will never leave me. What a wonderful promise.
Max Lucado, in his own inimitable way, sums it all up in a few concise thoughts:
"Aging? A necessary process to pass on to a better world.
Death? Merely a brief passage, a tunnel.
There, was that so bad?"-Max Lucado (God Came Near).
Today I am grateful for the privilege of growing old, and at the same time I ask for the privilege of growing older. There's just so much left to see and experience!
And I have just discovered, as I re-read this post, another blessing of old age. When I re-visit topics of past blogs, which I often do, I find that I have totally forgotten what I wrote back then so it's new all over again😊
On the health front:
Aside from being held captive in my own home by unmanageable white blood cells, I feel great.
Thank you, my Great Physician.
I don't remember ever fearing growing old and for that I am grateful. I have had a great life and I view each day as a gift. Life is a privilege that I hope to enjoy for a long time and I don't want to miss out on a minute of it. If I could change one thing about life, however, it would be that we could be given the gifts of the wisdom and experience of old age at the same time we enjoyed a young and energetic body, but that wasn't God's plan so I suspect He knows something that I don't on that subject.
Enough rambling. I'm ready to focus on a few of God's promises regarding old age:
"Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I made you and I will take care of you. I will carry you and save you."-Isaiah 46:4 (NCV).
And I am here to tell you, gray hairs and all, that the above verse is absolutely true!
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man [older], I put childish ways behind me."-1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV).
I had a great childhood but there's no doubt in my mind that I'd rather be right where I am than back in my younger years. Life just gets better and better!
"God, You have taught me since I was young. To this day I tell about the miracles You do. Even though I am old and gray, do not leave me, God. I will tell the children about Your power; I will tell those who live after me about Your might."-Psalm 71:17,18 (NCV).
And I can read the above verses in Psalm 71, confident that He will never leave me. What a wonderful promise.
Max Lucado, in his own inimitable way, sums it all up in a few concise thoughts:
"Aging? A necessary process to pass on to a better world.
Death? Merely a brief passage, a tunnel.
There, was that so bad?"-Max Lucado (God Came Near).
Today I am grateful for the privilege of growing old, and at the same time I ask for the privilege of growing older. There's just so much left to see and experience!
And I have just discovered, as I re-read this post, another blessing of old age. When I re-visit topics of past blogs, which I often do, I find that I have totally forgotten what I wrote back then so it's new all over again😊
On the health front:
Aside from being held captive in my own home by unmanageable white blood cells, I feel great.
Thank you, my Great Physician.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
New territory
I have acquired a new label. I am now "Neutropenic", which doesn't sound particularly flattering as adjectives go. In truth it's simply a new health category so I look forward to not having to carry the label forever. However, with a new health situation comes the need to seek encouragement from sources that have always been available but that will now become more in focus for me. Psalm 46 more than fits the bill this morning.
The very first verse reads, "God is our [my] refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble." "Always".....not sometimes, not conditional. How encouraging is that!
Then I go to verse 2, which assures me that I will not need to fear "...when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea." When compared to these catastrophes my challenges pale, so I truly have no need to fear.
Verse 5 assures me that when God dwells in a city, it cannot be destroyed. It may be a stretch, but this morning I am considering my body to be that city that cannot be destroyed. I can then claim the promise of the second portion of that verse, "From the very break of day, God will protect it." Absolutely no worries!
There is much more to consider in this beautiful psalm but my focus today will simply be on the words of verse 10a, which encourage me to, "Be still, and know that I am God."
On the health front:
Neutropenic means that my white blood cell count is unacceptably low. With that category comes new precautions: Limited interaction with people in order to reduce the chance of infection, taking temps several times daily, some food restrictions and general vigilance on physical signs that might indicate that something is "off".
Fortunately there is an injection that boosts white cell production. I have had one so far and will probably require more depending on what the lab work reveals. Abnormally low white cell numbers=temporary suspension of chemo infusions=longer treatment schedule=delayed PET scan=longer wait to see if this has all been worthwhile.
I am opting for as fast a track as possible to further understanding of where we are medically. Spiritually, my Great Physician is providing all the treatment I need. Thank You, Lord, for Your continuing faithfulness.
The very first verse reads, "God is our [my] refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble." "Always".....not sometimes, not conditional. How encouraging is that!
Then I go to verse 2, which assures me that I will not need to fear "...when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea." When compared to these catastrophes my challenges pale, so I truly have no need to fear.
Verse 5 assures me that when God dwells in a city, it cannot be destroyed. It may be a stretch, but this morning I am considering my body to be that city that cannot be destroyed. I can then claim the promise of the second portion of that verse, "From the very break of day, God will protect it." Absolutely no worries!
There is much more to consider in this beautiful psalm but my focus today will simply be on the words of verse 10a, which encourage me to, "Be still, and know that I am God."
On the health front:
Neutropenic means that my white blood cell count is unacceptably low. With that category comes new precautions: Limited interaction with people in order to reduce the chance of infection, taking temps several times daily, some food restrictions and general vigilance on physical signs that might indicate that something is "off".
Fortunately there is an injection that boosts white cell production. I have had one so far and will probably require more depending on what the lab work reveals. Abnormally low white cell numbers=temporary suspension of chemo infusions=longer treatment schedule=delayed PET scan=longer wait to see if this has all been worthwhile.
I am opting for as fast a track as possible to further understanding of where we are medically. Spiritually, my Great Physician is providing all the treatment I need. Thank You, Lord, for Your continuing faithfulness.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Thanks, Charles
"Trials teach us what we are; they dig up the soil and let us see what we are made of."-Charles Spurgeon.
Spurgeon was a British theologian who lived and taught in the 1800s. He was known as The Prince of Preachers, and for good reason. Although he was firmly rooted in his denomination, his appeal was to all people and even today he is widely quoted and respected.
I needed to read the above quote this morning. We were thrown a curve at our doctor visit yesterday and I am finding myself reacting in a less than stellar way. I was looking forward to doing some things that I had planned and my plans were changed. Imagine that!
In past blogs I have expressed gratitude for my closeness to God and for the things He is teaching me and here I sit, irritated in the most childish of ways. Spurgeon, as God's representative this morning, will nudge me back on track.
"'Stand still'. Keep the posture of an upright man [woman], ready for action, expecting further orders, cheerfully and patiently awaiting the directing voice; and it will not be long ere God shall say to you, as distinctly as Moses said it to the people of Israel, 'Go forward.'"
"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength."
"The Lord gets His best soldiers out of the highlands of affliction."
"You might not always get what you want but you always get what you expect."
"By perseverance the snail reached the ark."
Thanks, Charles. I needed those words today!
On the health front:
We got an unexpected surprise from Dr. Polowy yesterday. My white blood cells have tanked, probably due to the cumulative effects of Phase 2 treatment combined with the Gemzar treatment last week. No chemo treatment was allowed due to the unacceptable numbers.
I received a booster shot to stimulate white blood cell production instead and will get my chemo infusion today, followed by additional boosters next week if the white blood cell count doesn't improve.
I'm back in captivity. Limited interaction, no crowds, no fresh fruits and veggies (possible bacteria), hand washing often.
Please pray for an increase in those white blood cells. They could use a little encouragement 😊
Spurgeon was a British theologian who lived and taught in the 1800s. He was known as The Prince of Preachers, and for good reason. Although he was firmly rooted in his denomination, his appeal was to all people and even today he is widely quoted and respected.
I needed to read the above quote this morning. We were thrown a curve at our doctor visit yesterday and I am finding myself reacting in a less than stellar way. I was looking forward to doing some things that I had planned and my plans were changed. Imagine that!
In past blogs I have expressed gratitude for my closeness to God and for the things He is teaching me and here I sit, irritated in the most childish of ways. Spurgeon, as God's representative this morning, will nudge me back on track.
"'Stand still'. Keep the posture of an upright man [woman], ready for action, expecting further orders, cheerfully and patiently awaiting the directing voice; and it will not be long ere God shall say to you, as distinctly as Moses said it to the people of Israel, 'Go forward.'"
"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength."
"The Lord gets His best soldiers out of the highlands of affliction."
"You might not always get what you want but you always get what you expect."
"By perseverance the snail reached the ark."
Thanks, Charles. I needed those words today!
On the health front:
We got an unexpected surprise from Dr. Polowy yesterday. My white blood cells have tanked, probably due to the cumulative effects of Phase 2 treatment combined with the Gemzar treatment last week. No chemo treatment was allowed due to the unacceptable numbers.
I received a booster shot to stimulate white blood cell production instead and will get my chemo infusion today, followed by additional boosters next week if the white blood cell count doesn't improve.
I'm back in captivity. Limited interaction, no crowds, no fresh fruits and veggies (possible bacteria), hand washing often.
Please pray for an increase in those white blood cells. They could use a little encouragement 😊
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Yesterday's thoughts, today's promises
Yesterday the unknown writer, F.B.M., encouraged me to keep my eyes not so much on the promises but on the Promisor. Keeping that counsel in mind, I'm now drawn to a few of the innumerable promises of the Promisor that keep me encouraged on a daily basis.
"Love never ends. These three things continue forever: Faith, hope and love."-1 Corinthians 13:8,13 (NCV). God Himself is the true essence of love. Even on my worst days, when I feel neither loving nor lovable, God loves me. He chose to do that, He promises to do that and He will always do that. Inconceivable!
"God will show His mercy forever and ever to those who worship and serve Him."-Luke 1:50 (NCV). He didn't lift me up only to drop me. His grip is firm. Reassuring!
"So know that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God. He will keep His agreement of love for a thousand lifetimes for people who love Him and obey His commandments."-Deuteronomy 7:9 (NCV). God is not hindered by time as I know it. His "agreement of love" was on the scene long before I was and it will continue long after I've departed. Encouraging!
"Every word of God is true. He guards those who come to Him for safety."-Proverbs 30:5 (NCV).
Two promises here. I never have to doubt what He imprints on my heart. He is the Real Deal. And I will never need to worry about His ability to keep me in His hand. I have a safe harbor at all times. Comforting!
That should be enough to keep me going for today😊
"Do Thou be with me, and prepare me for all the smiles of prosperity,
The frowns of adversity,
The losses of substance,
The death of friends,
The days of darkness,
The changes of life,
And the last great change of all.
May I find Thy grace sufficient for all my needs."-The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.
Beautiful!
On the health front:
Chemo today but other than that nothing significant to report this morning, thankfully.
"Love never ends. These three things continue forever: Faith, hope and love."-1 Corinthians 13:8,13 (NCV). God Himself is the true essence of love. Even on my worst days, when I feel neither loving nor lovable, God loves me. He chose to do that, He promises to do that and He will always do that. Inconceivable!
"God will show His mercy forever and ever to those who worship and serve Him."-Luke 1:50 (NCV). He didn't lift me up only to drop me. His grip is firm. Reassuring!
"So know that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God. He will keep His agreement of love for a thousand lifetimes for people who love Him and obey His commandments."-Deuteronomy 7:9 (NCV). God is not hindered by time as I know it. His "agreement of love" was on the scene long before I was and it will continue long after I've departed. Encouraging!
"Every word of God is true. He guards those who come to Him for safety."-Proverbs 30:5 (NCV).
Two promises here. I never have to doubt what He imprints on my heart. He is the Real Deal. And I will never need to worry about His ability to keep me in His hand. I have a safe harbor at all times. Comforting!
That should be enough to keep me going for today😊
"Do Thou be with me, and prepare me for all the smiles of prosperity,
The frowns of adversity,
The losses of substance,
The death of friends,
The days of darkness,
The changes of life,
And the last great change of all.
May I find Thy grace sufficient for all my needs."-The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.
Beautiful!
On the health front:
Chemo today but other than that nothing significant to report this morning, thankfully.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Trust
Good thoughts from Streams this morning. "He leant not so much on the promises as upon the Promisor."-F.B.M. (Streams in the Desert).
This food for thought is based on the Old Testament account of Abraham's calling from God to go forward into an absolutely unknown future, secure only in the knowledge that he was being called by God and that he could trust Him in and for everything that the call would involve.
Would it be totally weird to compare myself to Abraham? I don't have family, camels, goats, tents, provisions to move across miles and miles of unknown and often unfriendly territory. I am comfortably settled in Mesa, surrounded by all needed provisions. But I am being called, nevertheless, albeit in a different way. I am called to an absolutely unknown future and I am relying not so much on the promises as on the Promiser. (But then again, aren't we all called to an unknown future?)
I take great comfort in the fact that, regardless of my circumstances, I am not the one in control.
"By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed."-Hebrews 11:8.
"....Earth's best cannot bear comparison with Heaven's least."-F.B.M. (Streams in the Desert).
On the health front:
I will have a chance to visit with Dr. Polowy tomorrow before chemo. If there is anything of interest to report, it will be reported.
Stay tuned😊
This food for thought is based on the Old Testament account of Abraham's calling from God to go forward into an absolutely unknown future, secure only in the knowledge that he was being called by God and that he could trust Him in and for everything that the call would involve.
Would it be totally weird to compare myself to Abraham? I don't have family, camels, goats, tents, provisions to move across miles and miles of unknown and often unfriendly territory. I am comfortably settled in Mesa, surrounded by all needed provisions. But I am being called, nevertheless, albeit in a different way. I am called to an absolutely unknown future and I am relying not so much on the promises as on the Promiser. (But then again, aren't we all called to an unknown future?)
I take great comfort in the fact that, regardless of my circumstances, I am not the one in control.
"By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed."-Hebrews 11:8.
"....Earth's best cannot bear comparison with Heaven's least."-F.B.M. (Streams in the Desert).
On the health front:
I will have a chance to visit with Dr. Polowy tomorrow before chemo. If there is anything of interest to report, it will be reported.
Stay tuned😊
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Closer to Heaven
This is not meant to be a bummer blog in the least and there has been no recent news that has caused me to anticipate heading heavenward anytime soon, but I am finding myself contemplating heaven more often now than in the past. There's a pretty good chance that I won't be the first human being to cheat death and there's nothing like a diagnosis of cancer to bring that reality home in a big hurry.
When life is relatively problem free it's easy to relegate death and heaven to the back burner. There is plenty to think about in the present. But now I find myself enjoying life in a new way. I find myself looking for inklings of the heaven that I imagine here on earth.
Carson enjoys gardening. On our patio are infant tomatoes and peppers. Lettuce is growing and a few garlic buds are pretty close to the surface. There's something satisfying and exciting about watching those plants grow. God's hand is at the core of the beauty of that little garden.
As I plunk away this morning I can look to the East and enjoy yet another beautiful Arizona sunrise. In the background I hear birds busily attending to their duties and singing as they go. A preview of heaven? Maybe. I look forward to pleasant interaction with folks I love today. A glimpse of heaven right here on earth? Hopefully. And the list goes on and on.
As I prepare for my day I will ask God to keep me aware of the fact that I am surrounded by His beauty in creation. And I will ask Him to keep me aware of the knowledge that although He offers me all this here on earth, what awaits me in heaven is so much more.
"Thou art the blessed God....
Thou hast produced me and sustained me,
Supported and indulged me,
Saved and kept me;
Thou art in every situation able to meet my needs and miseries.
May I live by Thee, live for Thee,
Never be satisfied with my Christian progress
But as I resemble Christ;
And may conformity to His principles, temper and conduct
Grow hourly in my life......"-The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.
On the health front:
No new surprises, thankfully.
God is good.....all the time.
When life is relatively problem free it's easy to relegate death and heaven to the back burner. There is plenty to think about in the present. But now I find myself enjoying life in a new way. I find myself looking for inklings of the heaven that I imagine here on earth.
Carson enjoys gardening. On our patio are infant tomatoes and peppers. Lettuce is growing and a few garlic buds are pretty close to the surface. There's something satisfying and exciting about watching those plants grow. God's hand is at the core of the beauty of that little garden.
As I plunk away this morning I can look to the East and enjoy yet another beautiful Arizona sunrise. In the background I hear birds busily attending to their duties and singing as they go. A preview of heaven? Maybe. I look forward to pleasant interaction with folks I love today. A glimpse of heaven right here on earth? Hopefully. And the list goes on and on.
As I prepare for my day I will ask God to keep me aware of the fact that I am surrounded by His beauty in creation. And I will ask Him to keep me aware of the knowledge that although He offers me all this here on earth, what awaits me in heaven is so much more.
"Thou art the blessed God....
Thou hast produced me and sustained me,
Supported and indulged me,
Saved and kept me;
Thou art in every situation able to meet my needs and miseries.
May I live by Thee, live for Thee,
Never be satisfied with my Christian progress
But as I resemble Christ;
And may conformity to His principles, temper and conduct
Grow hourly in my life......"-The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.
On the health front:
No new surprises, thankfully.
God is good.....all the time.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Encouragement
The Gemzar has kicked in. I don't think I fully appreciated the return of energy during my mini-chemo vacation. Now that it's draining again, it appears that I'm back to being a semi-slug for the time being. At the outset of our journey into cancer many friends and family members offered verses from the Bible and words of encouragement that had benefited them in times of need and before I begin my quiet time reading this morning I'm reviewing those thoughts to remind me again that I'm not alone on this trek.
Isaiah 41:10-"Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."-From BFF Pat.
Isaiah 41:13-"For I, The Lord God, hold your right hand. It is I Who says to you, 'Fear not. I am the One Who helps you.'"- Again, Pat.
Psalm 119:49,50-"Remember Your Word to your servant, in which You have made me hope. This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your promise gives me life."-From Mary.
Oswald Chambers-"God does not ask me to do the things that are naturally easy. He only asks me to do the things that I am perfectly fit to do through His grace, and that is where the cross we must bear will always come."-From Lee Ann.
Philippians 1:27-"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the Gospel of Christ."-From Beth.
Philippians 4:6,7-"Be not anxious for anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."-From Jody.
There are dozens more but I will focus on these today.
God is faithful.
On the health front:
Prayer request: Discouragement can set it when energy is drained. I'll need some heavenly help to keep that from happening. Any prayer offerings in that direction will be appreciated.
Isaiah 41:10-"Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."-From BFF Pat.
Isaiah 41:13-"For I, The Lord God, hold your right hand. It is I Who says to you, 'Fear not. I am the One Who helps you.'"- Again, Pat.
Psalm 119:49,50-"Remember Your Word to your servant, in which You have made me hope. This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your promise gives me life."-From Mary.
Oswald Chambers-"God does not ask me to do the things that are naturally easy. He only asks me to do the things that I am perfectly fit to do through His grace, and that is where the cross we must bear will always come."-From Lee Ann.
Philippians 1:27-"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the Gospel of Christ."-From Beth.
Philippians 4:6,7-"Be not anxious for anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."-From Jody.
There are dozens more but I will focus on these today.
God is faithful.
On the health front:
Prayer request: Discouragement can set it when energy is drained. I'll need some heavenly help to keep that from happening. Any prayer offerings in that direction will be appreciated.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Escape
We are running away from home until Sunday afternoon before the Gemzar catches up with me, so this spot will be blog less for a couple of days.
See you on Monday😊
On the health front:
Believe it or not, it was actually pleasant to see the familiar faces of the Oncology nurses again. I was greeted so warmly that one would think they actually remembered me!
The memories of Phase One came back quickly as I experienced slight dizziness and an unpleasant taste in my mouth, but that was the extent of my discomfort today.
There is a reason that the whole experience was so anxiety free. That reason is a colorful, cozy blanket to keep me warm in the always-chilly chemo room. It was given to me on Tuesday by a dear childhood friend, Joni, who presented it on behalf of the Solera Desert Mountain Bible Fellowship of Chandler. These beautiful women select the fabric, then pray over it specifically for the needs of the recipient. When the cheery, colorful blanket is assembled, a personalized label is sewn into it, reading, "Made especially for Barbara: Covered with Prayer." They have named their unique ministry "Knots of Love".
I firmly believe that the sense of peace that I enjoyed today in my recliner, stuck with tubes dripping the gross cocktail into my body, was the direct result of the prayers imbedded in this blanket. I am indebted to these ladies and I smile inwardly when I think of the joy that they must also bring to so many others. What a beautiful example of God's love in action.
See you on Monday😊
On the health front:
Believe it or not, it was actually pleasant to see the familiar faces of the Oncology nurses again. I was greeted so warmly that one would think they actually remembered me!
The memories of Phase One came back quickly as I experienced slight dizziness and an unpleasant taste in my mouth, but that was the extent of my discomfort today.
There is a reason that the whole experience was so anxiety free. That reason is a colorful, cozy blanket to keep me warm in the always-chilly chemo room. It was given to me on Tuesday by a dear childhood friend, Joni, who presented it on behalf of the Solera Desert Mountain Bible Fellowship of Chandler. These beautiful women select the fabric, then pray over it specifically for the needs of the recipient. When the cheery, colorful blanket is assembled, a personalized label is sewn into it, reading, "Made especially for Barbara: Covered with Prayer." They have named their unique ministry "Knots of Love".
I firmly believe that the sense of peace that I enjoyed today in my recliner, stuck with tubes dripping the gross cocktail into my body, was the direct result of the prayers imbedded in this blanket. I am indebted to these ladies and I smile inwardly when I think of the joy that they must also bring to so many others. What a beautiful example of God's love in action.
Bittersweet
For some reason I found myself humming "The Circle of Life" from the movie The Lion King this morning. I looked up the lyrics and I now know why that song came to mind. The words of the chorus are:
"It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
'Til we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life."
When our older "kids", all now in their 40s, were growing up they participated in 4-H, a wonderful youth development organization that teaches skills and responsibility through various activities, among them raising and showing farm animals. Our youngest would have participated as well were it not for the fact that he was allergic to all things farm related, plant or animal. Those were great times. We'd pack kids, animals, equipment, food for humans and beasts and we'd practically live at the Fair.
We were thrilled to see the tradition continue with grandkids and we have enjoyed many shows with them, but today marks the end of the era. Most of the grandkids are in their teens now with other interests replacing their animals and their lives have moved on, but Meg, the last holdout, has her final show at the Maricopa County Fair this morning. It will be a bittersweet day for all.
I'm not sure how this all relates to our cancer journey. I guess today I am especially aware of how we all have our places in the Circle of Life, an ever-moving and changing entity that is really out of our control. I am ever grateful that God placed me into this circle and He will not forget me when He calls me out of it.
Life..... How very precious it is.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain,
A time to search and a time to give up,
A time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
A time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
A time for war and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV).
On the health front:
Playtime is over. My temporary treatment vacation ends today and I'll be back in the recliner once a week until mid-July. I'm a tad apprehensive since the memory of the first phase had blessedly dimmed, but it will be what it will be. And through it all, I'm not alone.
"It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
'Til we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life."
When our older "kids", all now in their 40s, were growing up they participated in 4-H, a wonderful youth development organization that teaches skills and responsibility through various activities, among them raising and showing farm animals. Our youngest would have participated as well were it not for the fact that he was allergic to all things farm related, plant or animal. Those were great times. We'd pack kids, animals, equipment, food for humans and beasts and we'd practically live at the Fair.
We were thrilled to see the tradition continue with grandkids and we have enjoyed many shows with them, but today marks the end of the era. Most of the grandkids are in their teens now with other interests replacing their animals and their lives have moved on, but Meg, the last holdout, has her final show at the Maricopa County Fair this morning. It will be a bittersweet day for all.
I'm not sure how this all relates to our cancer journey. I guess today I am especially aware of how we all have our places in the Circle of Life, an ever-moving and changing entity that is really out of our control. I am ever grateful that God placed me into this circle and He will not forget me when He calls me out of it.
Life..... How very precious it is.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain,
A time to search and a time to give up,
A time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
A time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
A time for war and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV).
On the health front:
Playtime is over. My temporary treatment vacation ends today and I'll be back in the recliner once a week until mid-July. I'm a tad apprehensive since the memory of the first phase had blessedly dimmed, but it will be what it will be. And through it all, I'm not alone.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Peace, Trust and Contentment
I have found, especially since the start of this journey, that I need daily reminders of God's goodness and those reminders usually come from my time spent with Him early in the mornings. When I squander that time on other things, I usually find that I have cheated myself for the rest of the day. When I am restless and in an unsettled state of mind, I need to be grounded again in what I know to be true.
Today I am unsettled. Perhaps it's because my treatment begins again tomorrow. Perhaps it's because of decisions that need to be made. But whatever the reason, it's not a pleasant state in which to be. I take great comfort knowing that while my mind and mood swing here and there, God's truths remain constant, and today the truth on which I will depend is put so well by Sarah Young:
"Trust Me in every detail of your life. Nothing is random in My kingdom.....
Instead of trying to analyze the intricacies of the pattern, focus your energy on trusting Me and thanking Me at all times..."-Sarah Young (Jesus Calling).
I love it when that happens. An unsettled mind (mine) is settled in a matter of minutes by seeking the mind of another (His).
Simplistic, but oh so profound.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7,8 (NIV).
On the health front:
Please pray for peace, trust and contentment as I begin the final phase of treatment tomorrow.
Today I am unsettled. Perhaps it's because my treatment begins again tomorrow. Perhaps it's because of decisions that need to be made. But whatever the reason, it's not a pleasant state in which to be. I take great comfort knowing that while my mind and mood swing here and there, God's truths remain constant, and today the truth on which I will depend is put so well by Sarah Young:
"Trust Me in every detail of your life. Nothing is random in My kingdom.....
Instead of trying to analyze the intricacies of the pattern, focus your energy on trusting Me and thanking Me at all times..."-Sarah Young (Jesus Calling).
I love it when that happens. An unsettled mind (mine) is settled in a matter of minutes by seeking the mind of another (His).
Simplistic, but oh so profound.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7,8 (NIV).
On the health front:
Please pray for peace, trust and contentment as I begin the final phase of treatment tomorrow.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
More ruminations on prayer
"Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take."
When we were kids my mom would come into my sister's and my room to pray this short prayer with us before we went to sleep and then she went into my brothers' room to pray the prayer with them. As I read Ben Patterson's thoughts this morning on Psalm 31 I can relate when he remembers praying that short prayer with his mother. He recalls not being thrilled about the dying before waking part but realizing pretty quickly that staying awake to avoid that possibility was not a viable plan. I'm guessing that the same thought occurred to us as well.
I'm not ashamed to say that I still pray that little prayer on occasion as I fall asleep, but now I pray with confidence that my soul will rest with God for eternity when that time comes. What a beautiful reality.
David penned this psalm when he was in imminent danger. He realized that his hope would ultimately come only from his God. Ben leads me to verse 5 of Psalm 31 where David cries out, "I entrust my spirit into Your hand...." And again, in verse 15, "My future is in Your hands..."
My desire is to pray those verses with the fervor of David, knowing that whatever challenges I encounter, I can have full confidence that I am firmly in God's grip.
Thank you, Ben Patterson, for these timely reminders this morning. (God's Prayer Book: The Power and Pleasure of Praying the Psalms).
"I will be glad and rejoice in Your unfailing love, for You have seen my troubles, and You care about the anguish of my soul."-Psalm 31:7 (NLT)
Hmmm...."ruminations". Not a bad choice of words from a dairyman's wife😊
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take."
When we were kids my mom would come into my sister's and my room to pray this short prayer with us before we went to sleep and then she went into my brothers' room to pray the prayer with them. As I read Ben Patterson's thoughts this morning on Psalm 31 I can relate when he remembers praying that short prayer with his mother. He recalls not being thrilled about the dying before waking part but realizing pretty quickly that staying awake to avoid that possibility was not a viable plan. I'm guessing that the same thought occurred to us as well.
I'm not ashamed to say that I still pray that little prayer on occasion as I fall asleep, but now I pray with confidence that my soul will rest with God for eternity when that time comes. What a beautiful reality.
David penned this psalm when he was in imminent danger. He realized that his hope would ultimately come only from his God. Ben leads me to verse 5 of Psalm 31 where David cries out, "I entrust my spirit into Your hand...." And again, in verse 15, "My future is in Your hands..."
My desire is to pray those verses with the fervor of David, knowing that whatever challenges I encounter, I can have full confidence that I am firmly in God's grip.
Thank you, Ben Patterson, for these timely reminders this morning. (God's Prayer Book: The Power and Pleasure of Praying the Psalms).
"I will be glad and rejoice in Your unfailing love, for You have seen my troubles, and You care about the anguish of my soul."-Psalm 31:7 (NLT)
Hmmm...."ruminations". Not a bad choice of words from a dairyman's wife😊
Monday, April 8, 2013
Prayer
Recently I received three beautiful handmade cards from Mr. Redding's 7th and 8th grade Bible classes at Gilbert Christian School, hand delivered with a big smile by my granddaughter, Sarah.
The cards reminded me to stay strong, to trust God, to feel better, to keep the faith. And I can do those very things knowing that I have the prayers of these young people going heavenward on my behalf. These kids don't know me personally but they pray for me. That's pretty special! And what's even more special is that they are learning that there is great power in prayer.
I was very, very encouraged by these short messages and will pray for each name on the cards, confident of the fact that even if I don't know the individual needs of these young folks and their teacher, God does.
Thank you, students and Mr. Redding! Because of your example I will look for ways to encourage others today.
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He Who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."-Romans 8:26, 27 (NIV).
"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well..."-James 5:15a (NIV).
".....The prayer of a righteous man [student] is powerful and effective."-James 5:16b (NIV).
On the health front:
Three and a half days of freedom from chemo left. Not quite sure how I feel about that.
The cards reminded me to stay strong, to trust God, to feel better, to keep the faith. And I can do those very things knowing that I have the prayers of these young people going heavenward on my behalf. These kids don't know me personally but they pray for me. That's pretty special! And what's even more special is that they are learning that there is great power in prayer.
I was very, very encouraged by these short messages and will pray for each name on the cards, confident of the fact that even if I don't know the individual needs of these young folks and their teacher, God does.
Thank you, students and Mr. Redding! Because of your example I will look for ways to encourage others today.
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He Who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."-Romans 8:26, 27 (NIV).
"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well..."-James 5:15a (NIV).
".....The prayer of a righteous man [student] is powerful and effective."-James 5:16b (NIV).
On the health front:
Three and a half days of freedom from chemo left. Not quite sure how I feel about that.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Be still
We ventured out with friends last night. The evening had a dual purpose...to celebrate a special wedding anniversary and to enjoy an evening whose purpose was to benefit a very worthy cause. It was good to be out with people. It was good to have senses invigorated and to have a shot at the world that's going on around me before I need to withdraw again for a while. It made me grateful that the world outside my walls is an exciting place and at the same time it made me appreciate the opportunities I have had to draw away from that excitement to be quiet, to be still.
God has given me much opportunity to be still in the past year. He has pulled me away from the familiar daily busyness of my life BC and has called me to re-appreciate Him in a clear and unmistakable way. It took an emergency to allow that to happen this time around and when He pronounces me healed from cancer my desire is to allow regular periods of stillness to continue to be an important part of my days.
There is treasure in quiet times with God and while my senses are invigorated by life in the "outside" world, they are invigorated in a very different way in the world of stillness and communion with The Source of my being.
"Be still and know that I am God."-Psalm 46:10 (KJV).
God has given me much opportunity to be still in the past year. He has pulled me away from the familiar daily busyness of my life BC and has called me to re-appreciate Him in a clear and unmistakable way. It took an emergency to allow that to happen this time around and when He pronounces me healed from cancer my desire is to allow regular periods of stillness to continue to be an important part of my days.
There is treasure in quiet times with God and while my senses are invigorated by life in the "outside" world, they are invigorated in a very different way in the world of stillness and communion with The Source of my being.
"Be still and know that I am God."-Psalm 46:10 (KJV).
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Again...the big picture
Sometimes it's difficult to look at the big picture when involved on a day to day basis with a challenge. My tendency is to become mired in the moment rather than to look at the whole landscape. I'm grateful to have been drawn to Psalm 30 today.....another of David's magnificent psalms.
David experienced pretty much everything in his life that could be experienced in any man's life. His highs had no ceilings, his lows had no floors. He had plenty of opportunities to call on his God, and call he did! "When I was prosperous, I said, 'Nothing can stop me now!' "- (Verse 6). In the same psalm he says, "I cried out to You, O Lord. I begged The Lord for mercy..." -(Verse 8).
But for me today the most significant verses in this psalm of David are verse 5b and verse 11:
"...Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning."-Psalm 30:5b (NLT), and
"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy."-Psalm 30:11 (NLT). Even in the depths of discomfort and discouragement God is there, continuing to show me the truths found in these short verses.
While there is no author officially recognized as the author of Ecclesiastes, many Bible scholars attribute its writings to King Solomon, so today I'd like to express my thanks to the old king for the words found in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 which so beautifully point out that there is a time and a season for everything. Nothing stays the same.
On the health front:
I'm looking forward to the launch of Phase Three on Thursday. The sooner it starts, the sooner it will end!
David experienced pretty much everything in his life that could be experienced in any man's life. His highs had no ceilings, his lows had no floors. He had plenty of opportunities to call on his God, and call he did! "When I was prosperous, I said, 'Nothing can stop me now!' "- (Verse 6). In the same psalm he says, "I cried out to You, O Lord. I begged The Lord for mercy..." -(Verse 8).
But for me today the most significant verses in this psalm of David are verse 5b and verse 11:
"...Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning."-Psalm 30:5b (NLT), and
"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy."-Psalm 30:11 (NLT). Even in the depths of discomfort and discouragement God is there, continuing to show me the truths found in these short verses.
While there is no author officially recognized as the author of Ecclesiastes, many Bible scholars attribute its writings to King Solomon, so today I'd like to express my thanks to the old king for the words found in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 which so beautifully point out that there is a time and a season for everything. Nothing stays the same.
On the health front:
I'm looking forward to the launch of Phase Three on Thursday. The sooner it starts, the sooner it will end!
Friday, April 5, 2013
Alone with God
Interesting thoughts to ponder in this morning's Streams in the Desert. The author of today's entry observes that there are times in our lives when God draws us apart from everything familiar. All the "props", as he or she calls them, are temporarily put out of our reach. Nothing that we have been able to rely on in the past....self, other people, human reason...will serve us and we are forced to rely solely on God.
This was my experience, and while it was pretty scary at the time, it has turned out to be pretty wonderful. God took a woman who was accustomed to being able to take care of herself, a woman who didn't like surprises, and lovingly forced her to focus on Him alone. And He was, is and always will be faithful. I can rely on that.
"In the sorest trials God often makes the sweetest discoveries of Himself." (Gems).
"God sometimes shuts the door and shuts us in,
That He may speak, perchance through grief or pain,
And softly, heart to heart, above the din,
May tell some precious thought to us again." (Author Unknown).
On the health front:
Counting down to the start of Phase Three of my treatment.
Please pray that my reaction to Gemzar will be the same as it was during Phase One. The side effects could have been a lot worse.
Thank you for your faithful prayers.
This was my experience, and while it was pretty scary at the time, it has turned out to be pretty wonderful. God took a woman who was accustomed to being able to take care of herself, a woman who didn't like surprises, and lovingly forced her to focus on Him alone. And He was, is and always will be faithful. I can rely on that.
"In the sorest trials God often makes the sweetest discoveries of Himself." (Gems).
"God sometimes shuts the door and shuts us in,
That He may speak, perchance through grief or pain,
And softly, heart to heart, above the din,
May tell some precious thought to us again." (Author Unknown).
On the health front:
Counting down to the start of Phase Three of my treatment.
Please pray that my reaction to Gemzar will be the same as it was during Phase One. The side effects could have been a lot worse.
Thank you for your faithful prayers.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Learning from others
Since my diagnosis I've had occasions to compare "life" with many who have been touched by cancer in one way or another and I've learned so much from them.
One close friend, in particular, has been especially good for me in her honesty regarding her own cancer journey. We have shared and compared challenges and we have both been able to find moments of humor along the way. Recently she passed a book on to me with a lovely inscription inside the cover, with the hope and expectation that it will be inscribed again and passed on to someone else who will appreciate it as we have. The book chronicles the lives of some very special women who have triumphed over their cancers and who have become better people for their experiences. I have been touched by their hope and their courage.
"I've changed my way of looking at life. I don't take things as seriously now. I love making people around me happy. I've lost the need to be in control. I never used to be emotional but now I cry...." (Julia). I think Julia is on the right track.
"Because of the experience, I've gained a lot of peace in my life. I just don't get as worked up about things as I did in the past." (Deirdre). Me, too, Deirdre!
"......let people into your life, let friends help you. Let them get you a cup of tea, even if you don't want one. It will help you feel less isolated and it will help them love you." (Deirdre again.)
"I don't just want to survive cancer. I want to put it behind me." (Kellee). I'll second that, Kellee!
And this one particularly touched me. "An interesting dynamic is that my husband is continually asked about me and I feel it's unfair that my disease has captured the spotlight and so colored his relationship with others. He's a patient person but [I'm sure that] he would rather discuss far more controversial topics [than those that] force him into my shadow." (Jo). I'm a little sad about that , too, Jo.
"So my advice to you is to trust yourself, trust God and let others into your life. Let them take care of you, and this, too, shall pass." (Georgia Ann). So beautifully spoken, Georgia Ann.
And these are only a few of the gems found within the pages of this beautiful book about the hope and courage of a few of many strong women who have met and are meeting their challenges well.
My prayer today is that I will never stop learning from others.
One close friend, in particular, has been especially good for me in her honesty regarding her own cancer journey. We have shared and compared challenges and we have both been able to find moments of humor along the way. Recently she passed a book on to me with a lovely inscription inside the cover, with the hope and expectation that it will be inscribed again and passed on to someone else who will appreciate it as we have. The book chronicles the lives of some very special women who have triumphed over their cancers and who have become better people for their experiences. I have been touched by their hope and their courage.
"I've changed my way of looking at life. I don't take things as seriously now. I love making people around me happy. I've lost the need to be in control. I never used to be emotional but now I cry...." (Julia). I think Julia is on the right track.
"Because of the experience, I've gained a lot of peace in my life. I just don't get as worked up about things as I did in the past." (Deirdre). Me, too, Deirdre!
"......let people into your life, let friends help you. Let them get you a cup of tea, even if you don't want one. It will help you feel less isolated and it will help them love you." (Deirdre again.)
"I don't just want to survive cancer. I want to put it behind me." (Kellee). I'll second that, Kellee!
And this one particularly touched me. "An interesting dynamic is that my husband is continually asked about me and I feel it's unfair that my disease has captured the spotlight and so colored his relationship with others. He's a patient person but [I'm sure that] he would rather discuss far more controversial topics [than those that] force him into my shadow." (Jo). I'm a little sad about that , too, Jo.
"So my advice to you is to trust yourself, trust God and let others into your life. Let them take care of you, and this, too, shall pass." (Georgia Ann). So beautifully spoken, Georgia Ann.
And these are only a few of the gems found within the pages of this beautiful book about the hope and courage of a few of many strong women who have met and are meeting their challenges well.
My prayer today is that I will never stop learning from others.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Confidence
I spent some time with a friend yesterday. We've both been around long enough to see life in its dress clothes and in its everyday clothes. We are both facing challenges in our lives and we shared them with each other, as friends do. While our trials appear difficult and saddening now, we both came away from our time together knowing that we see those trials in a far more limited way than God does.
We talked about challenges that came into our lives years ago and how they seemed so devastating at the time. Now, years later, we share with each other how those challenges have borne great fruit, fruit that was invisible to us at the time but were part of God's plan from the outset. How encouraging it is to know that God is not bound by our concept of time. And what a blessing it is to be confident in the knowledge that "....in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."-Romans 8:28 (NIV).
"He has made everything beautiful in its time."-Ecclesiastes 3:11a (NIV)
"The Lord will be your permanent source of light; your time of sorrow will be over."-Isaiah 60:20b (NET).
"It is impossible for you to have a need that I cannot meet. After all, I created you...."-Sarah Young (Jesus Calling).
On the health front:
Thankfully, nothing more than a bit of minor pain, so no complaints!
We talked about challenges that came into our lives years ago and how they seemed so devastating at the time. Now, years later, we share with each other how those challenges have borne great fruit, fruit that was invisible to us at the time but were part of God's plan from the outset. How encouraging it is to know that God is not bound by our concept of time. And what a blessing it is to be confident in the knowledge that "....in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."-Romans 8:28 (NIV).
"He has made everything beautiful in its time."-Ecclesiastes 3:11a (NIV)
"The Lord will be your permanent source of light; your time of sorrow will be over."-Isaiah 60:20b (NET).
"It is impossible for you to have a need that I cannot meet. After all, I created you...."-Sarah Young (Jesus Calling).
On the health front:
Thankfully, nothing more than a bit of minor pain, so no complaints!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Thanking Him
These days I often find myself thinking of my life in two parts; as it was before my cancer diagnosis (BC) and as it is now, after my cancer diagnosis (AC). The now familiar AC self has become accustomed to a lack of energy, aches and pains of a previously unfamiliar nature, occasional bouts of whining and self pity and a serious curtailment of a social life. So yesterday, when I received the unexpected blessing of a day that was unusually similar to the days of my BC life, I was happily surprised, and grateful, and elated, and even a bit giddy at the end of the day from the experience. It was easy to praise and thank God for His good gifts.
It's still early and I don't know yet what the day will bring, but my prayer right at this moment is that I will end this day with that same gratitude, regardless of what transpires. God is with me, holding me tightly every moment, in good times and in trials. Our journey has made this knowledge a reality. And I pray that He will continue to allow trials to enter my life, if only to keep me aware that I am never alone.
I've shared this prayer before, but it bears repeating:
"I bless Thee....for the body Thou hast given me,
for preserving its strength and vigour,
for providing senses to enjoy delights,
for the ease and freedom of my limbs,
for hands, eyes, ears that do Thy bidding,
for Thy royal bounty providing my daily support,
for a full table and overflowing cup,
for appetite, taste, sweetness,
for social joys of relatives and friends,
for ability to serve others,
for a heart that feels sorrows and necessities,
for a mind to care for my fellow-men,
for opportunities of spreading happiness around,
for loved ones in the joys of heaven,
for my own expectation of seeing Thee clearly....."-The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.
Have a GREAT day!
It's still early and I don't know yet what the day will bring, but my prayer right at this moment is that I will end this day with that same gratitude, regardless of what transpires. God is with me, holding me tightly every moment, in good times and in trials. Our journey has made this knowledge a reality. And I pray that He will continue to allow trials to enter my life, if only to keep me aware that I am never alone.
I've shared this prayer before, but it bears repeating:
"I bless Thee....for the body Thou hast given me,
for preserving its strength and vigour,
for providing senses to enjoy delights,
for the ease and freedom of my limbs,
for hands, eyes, ears that do Thy bidding,
for Thy royal bounty providing my daily support,
for a full table and overflowing cup,
for appetite, taste, sweetness,
for social joys of relatives and friends,
for ability to serve others,
for a heart that feels sorrows and necessities,
for a mind to care for my fellow-men,
for opportunities of spreading happiness around,
for loved ones in the joys of heaven,
for my own expectation of seeing Thee clearly....."-The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.
Have a GREAT day!
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