Regrets

I was reminded very recently that I have allowed my circumstances to blur my mind and to minimize my concentration on some really important relationships in my life.  I've missed a couple of important opportunities to let family members and dear friends know how important they are to me and I have neglected to give them the appreciation due them.  I have allowed myself to fall into the "I'll do better when I feel better" mindset, and that's just not acceptable.

For those readers of this blog who have walked the cancer walk, you know that "chemo fog" is real.  Memory is impaired and senses are dulled.  But for me the worst part is the almost nonchalant attitude it has produced in me and I fear that this attitude has translated into the impression of disinterest.  I do not recognize this in myself since I would like to think that it is not the self that God's working within me has produced.  So for those I have offended by my perceived disinterest, I ask your forgiveness.  You are more important in my life than you can know.

"If the majesty, grace and power of God are not being exhibited in us, God holds us responsible."-Oswald Chambers (My Utmost For His Highest- Updated Edition).

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."-John 13:34,35 (ESV).

On the health front:

"You are not Neutropenic." Good news to hear yesterday since it means I've dodged the Neupogen bullet for another week.  White blood cells are once again definitely heading south but at least my treatment will take place today.