This week's lab results revealed more discouraging news about my white blood cell count, resulting in the need for two injections of Neupogen before treatment can take place tomorrow. One of the side effects of Neupogen is bone pain and yesterday's injection resulted in this side effect for the first time.
This is particularly disappointing since this evening was intended to be spent in an enjoyable activity that has been planned for several months. It's not going to happen for me, unfortunately.
Choosing my blog topic for today hasn't been easy because my spirit is less than quiet. It took the words of an English Puritan preacher who lived from 1600-1646 to get me refocused: "Those who are contented are fitted to receive mercy from The Lord."-Jeremiah Burroughs (Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment).
The good preacher points out that a vessel must be held still in order to receive its contents. He points to the child who is throwing a tantrum and who must be quieted before anything of value can be accomplished. And then he nails me with his words, "So if we would be vessels to receive God's mercy, and would have The Lord pour His mercy into us, we must have quiet, still hearts. We must not have hearts hurrying up and down in trouble, discontent and vexing, but still and quiet hearts....".
I am mired in selfishness and disappointment this morning and my mandate is to be still and quiet. This may take a while.
"Be still and know that I am God."-Psalm 46:10a (ESV).
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